Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Just little life reminders about violence.


Today's Times Standard article was not that big of shock. I had multiple requests over the weekend to post information about the incident and I did not because of the sensitivity of the issue. I am a board member of Humboldt Domestic Violence Services and do not like violence in any form. Mark Lovelace has been a vocal and public figure supporting HDVS services and victims so this is uncomfortable to address. But here are just a few reminders before you say something negative or act physically to a victim:

1, THINK- Is what you are going to say in anger True, is it Helpful, is it Inspiring, is it Necessary and is it Kind? If not, keep it to yourself.

2. Respect Personal Space. Never touch another person if they are not willing and receptive of physical contact. EVER.

3. Whenever angry with a person remember to always keep a 3 foot bubble space from a person so as not to accidently enter anothers space.

There are many other things I am sure all have heard. I know and like both the victim and the perpetrator in this incident and hope resolution will be forthcoming soon.

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

By all published accounts, except for the Del Norte guy, it was a pat on the back. I really don't see the issue. Using words like 'perpetrator' and 'victim' is absurdly inflammatory.

Anonymous said...

"Poverty is the worst form of violence". (Gandhi)

And the least reported.

Eric Kirk said...

Maybe 3 feet isn't even enough. I would say that if you're pissed off to any degree, get some fresh air, breath it in, then come back to the discussion.

Charlie Bean said...

Good reminder, Mr.Marks!

Anonymous said...

Excellent advice.

Anonymous said...

HCDCC needs to ask AG to step in. Don't be PC on this because Mark is the poster boy for lib's. He is also a notorious bully at the work place. His temper tantrums are legendary. You need to see to it that work place violence is not tolerated. He should step down and take sexual and anger training. PERIOD !

Anonymous said...

"By all published accounts, except for the Del Norte guy, it was a pat on the back."

Bullshit. Lovelace admits he was was angry and frustrated, he admits it was a "sarcastic" "exaggerated" slap. He admits that it may have been "too hard or aggressive." According to Bass, the blow was enough to aggravate her shoulder injury. According to Sullivan, it knocked her 3 or 4 steps forward.

So, no, it wasn't a "pat on the back" it was one elected official aggressively striking another, because of his anger over not getting his way on a chairmanship vote. The fact that he did it in a pseudo-passive-aggressive, "sarcastic" way does not make it any better. The fact that he tried to minimize it by calling it a "good-old-boy slap on the back" makes it worse.

It's comppletely appropriate to refer to Lovelace as the "perpetrator" and Bass as the
"victim" in that interaction; disgusting to pretend otherwise, and patently absurd to attempt to dismiss is as "pat on the back."

Anonymous said...

And in Ca the victim in these cases can't just say no charges. Society charges because we have deemed sexual battery unacceptable. Mr Lovelace has admitted to this abuse crime and needs to be arrested,do anger/sexual harassment training,serve his probation and hang his head in shame.

Anonymous said...

Lovelace's behavior was totally unacceptable, but it wasn't "sexual battery."

Anonymous said...

that would go to the state of his mind/personality and why he chose to attack Bass. Work place sexual battery. He has had classes that tell electeds just that. He is a work place bully and a predator and needs to go.

liberal jon said...

Richard, I like this post, especially after hearing about your good work and concern with our Humboldt domestic violence non-profit. I do agree with the first commenter that perpetrator and victim was a little off. I had to look up perpetrator, and most definitions include the word "crime". From all accounts, that seems to be and unfair accusation. Just my 2 cents.

BTW I changed my name as I was getting heat for views that the Dems may not endorse. Just an FYI.

Anonymous said...

it was a crime, it was an assault, PERIOD.

Anonymous said...

Richard, The following post is from Eric's blog. I think it raises a good point. From a workplace violence standpoint, what would you or HDVC have to say about an employer who failed to follow their own rules and laws about dealing with violent incidents between employees? Do you believe that the Board is legally required to act?

"Interestingly, there is a lot less discretion in what will happen about Mark's inappropriate physical contact with Bass than one might think. I wasn't there so I don't know if it was a shove, hit, thump, push, or overzealous pat on the back. Besides it doesn't really matter. By all accounts including Mark's it was inappropriate and certainly unwanted physical contact between two County employees. Guess what, though to be fair I haven't actually looked them up, the County unquestionably has rules about these kinds of things. I'm also sure that one of them REQUIRES a report to be taken and a process started to review what happened and sort out an appropriate resolution. I'm also sure that there must be a REQUIREMENT to report any incident to the applicable law enforcement authority. Even if Mark, Rex, and Virginia wanted to sweep the whole thing under the rug, they CAN'T. As the county's "Bosses" they cannot afford to set an example of failing to follow proper procedure, particularly one where there are very credible witnesses, very public disclosure, and an admission on some level of guilt and responsibility. Not only could they never again look a victimized county employee in the face but they could also open the County to possible litigation from other victims. I don't see how they really have a choice but to follow their own rules."

Anonymous said...

Screw this Let's have another hot dog review.

Anonymous said...

sorry RS. I mean 9 ;40 you libs don't get to sweep this one under the floor. The nastiest people in HumCo are you phonie PC's. Give old Markie enough rope and he finally hanged himself. Guess he needs more community organizing tips from Neeley/Miller/RS. ROTFLMAO!

Anonymous said...

Humboldt tre bags smell blood. That's all this story is REALLY about.

Anonymous said...

Mark,

A little Tough Love from a constituent:

I'm glad that you apologized to Virginia and Rex. But you still owe an apology to those who pay your salary, in other words, the public.

You didn't just embarrass yourself, Mark, as a representative of the county, you embarrassed the county. And you put at risk your ability to work effectively with your colleagues, which is obviously a crucial part of your job.

To put it bluntly, we the public don't send you to a conference to act like a spoiled child and pitch a tantrum when you don't get your way on something, we expect you to maintain a professional demeanor and engage civilly, at least when officially representing us at events. This is basic stuff, I am sure you are already aware of this, and thus you also must be well aware that you have let the public down in this instance.

So I'd like to see a clear, unequivocal, unqualified apology to county residents, and a clear commitment to avoid engaging in this sort of behavior in the future.



Anonymous said...

This is 940, and no I'm not RS, whoever that is. I'm not a lib either. I think all of the supervisors should be replaced. They all suck. Eureka City Council should all be replaced as well, because they all suck too.

Anonymous said...

Now where is that next hot dog review?

Joe Blow said...

Uninvited entrance into another's personal space occurs with an unwanted expression of someone's worthless opinions imposed upon another, usually in the form of a lying false accusation. In my book, false accusation, not based on fact or truth, equal a physical slap in the face. Something this effeminate culture we labor under should easily understand.

Anonymous said...

Weiner whiner

Anonymous said...

I trust now that Mark will do the only noble thing left for him to do. Resign.

Anonymous said...

There is of course the new do the right thing trend of throwing yourself in front of a speeding truck.

Anonymous said...

What shame Mr. Lovelace has brought upon the Arcata community, and Humboldt County. I never took him to be a woman beater. I hope Virginia is able to recover and live a normal life. Even with all the talk about drunken Efren Carillo in Sonoma County, nobody has accused him of beating on women! I agree, it is time Mark resigned from office. He needs therapy and should be separated from future contact with women.

Anonymous said...

Shameful? Yes. Absolutely. Should he seek professional help? Yes. Specifically, help with anger management. Does this one incident make him a "woman beater" who "should be separated from future contact with women." No. That's way out of proportion to the offense, serious though that offense was.

Anonymous said...

Who is to say this was just one incident? Everyone has been talking about changes in Virginia's behavior since she joined the Board. She has been less self confident. When Mark was Chairman, she seemed to inadvertently twitch slightly when he would speak. She often only spoke when Mark summoned her to do so. What the hell has been going on behind the scenes this whole time?? We only know about this incident because of the brave supervisor from Del Norte who stood up to the bully, Mark Lovelace. How many times has Rex written off Marks physical abuse as "passion?" How did Virginia's body become crippled originally?

Sam knight said...

Legally, it is called BATTERY; and his actions were pre-meditated as witnessed by another elected official of Del Norte County. Because Mark is an elected official, one would hope our Supervisors would CENSOR him from acting or representing Humboldt County at any meeting or event outside our County. This man is an egocentric megalomaniac with anger issues. A wife beater? Maybe and maybe not, AND I for one am sick and tired of his angry verbally abusive outbursts to County employees or to the public. Mark, your attitude and behavior is NOT OKAY.

Sam knight said...

The legal term for what Mark did to Virginia is BATTERY. It was witnessed by others including Mr. Bohn and by another elected official from Del Norte County. The least our Board of Supervisors should do is CENSOR Mark from representing our county at any and all functions outside County jurisdictions or locations. What Mark did was not good. Mark is known for his angry verbally abusive behavior to employees of the county and to the public when he does not get his way. Wife beater? Maybe or maybe not. I for one am sick and tired of his self centered behavior and tantrums. Shame on you Mark.

Anonymous said...

Mark's actions in this is only tip of the ice berg. He reps for a nasty,self rightous ,eco-elete who view the most of us as unworthy to live in the green Mecca they must save. The rules, manners, respect, fair play, our lives don't mean shit to them or Mark. Why the dust up when Mark is forced to bitch slap the uppity .