Please
allow me to introduce myself, I’m am the Softball King. The best softballer you
will ever witness.
Just ask the opposing teams in the 3 leagues I’m in this summer. I flat out rake. You could populate a small country with all the pitchers I've taken to shallow right. No wonder they walk me so many times in a season. Gotta be intimidation.
I just spent lots of time hitting batting practice. Blooper drives, blooper flies, opposite field bloopers. I can do it all. Some kids at the skateboard park at Coopers had to stop and were staring and pointing at me in awe. I can’t blame them. They’ve probably never seen a 60 year man wearing Oakley Blades and batting gloves who can hit rake bloopers like me. Especially not with shorts this tight.
Just ask the opposing teams in the 3 leagues I’m in this summer. I flat out rake. You could populate a small country with all the pitchers I've taken to shallow right. No wonder they walk me so many times in a season. Gotta be intimidation.
I just spent lots of time hitting batting practice. Blooper drives, blooper flies, opposite field bloopers. I can do it all. Some kids at the skateboard park at Coopers had to stop and were staring and pointing at me in awe. I can’t blame them. They’ve probably never seen a 60 year man wearing Oakley Blades and batting gloves who can hit rake bloopers like me. Especially not with shorts this tight.
This
season, I am in it for revenge. We fell in the B League Championship Game in Arcata
to Sushi Spot. The taste still lingers. I’ve gotta get my hands on that 3-foot plastic
trophy and tee shirt. It’s all I think about. Rumor has it the league winners
get 2 free pitchers at the Jambalaya after the season. No way we lose with the
trophy, shirts and 78 ounces of Bud on the line.
I just bought all new equipment for this season and you should see the extra long stripped baggy baseball pants I got. Super tight. I picked up a new set of wristbands, a tube of eye black and a pair of 3-inch mud cleats, you know, just in case I need to break up a double play. I also got my hands on one of those $25 Louisville bats for a little extra power. It may cost me a part of my retirement pension, but screw it, when I start cranking 100-foot pop ups it will be worth it. I am the John Wooden of the woodbat hitters! My dribbler to third is something to witness!
This year I’m focused. In my mind I have visualized what needs to get done. My initials might as well be M-V-P. That stands for Most Valuable Player for all you non-softball players. The League starts tomorrow.
Why do I take softball so seriously? You kidding me? You’re just jealous! See you at the ball park!
I just bought all new equipment for this season and you should see the extra long stripped baggy baseball pants I got. Super tight. I picked up a new set of wristbands, a tube of eye black and a pair of 3-inch mud cleats, you know, just in case I need to break up a double play. I also got my hands on one of those $25 Louisville bats for a little extra power. It may cost me a part of my retirement pension, but screw it, when I start cranking 100-foot pop ups it will be worth it. I am the John Wooden of the woodbat hitters! My dribbler to third is something to witness!
This year I’m focused. In my mind I have visualized what needs to get done. My initials might as well be M-V-P. That stands for Most Valuable Player for all you non-softball players. The League starts tomorrow.
Why do I take softball so seriously? You kidding me? You’re just jealous! See you at the ball park!
King
Richard
President
Mad River Softball Association
60 and going strong💪😎.
ReplyDeleteYou had me at two pitchers. 🍺🍺
ReplyDeleteHey Richard, I'm actually in a softball league. Our team name? A fitting Senior Moments.
ReplyDelete